torsdag, januari 29, 2004

50 signs you've been in Sweden for too long

~ ~ ~ 50 signs you've been in sweden for too long ~ ~ ~

1. You associate pea soup with Thursday.

2. The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.

3. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

4. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound 'ahh'.

5. You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to system bolaget.

6. You think nothing of paying € 40 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at system bolaget.

7. Your English language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine" and "hire videos".

8. You think Leif 'Loket' Olsson is entertaining.

9. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.

10. It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.

11. Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.

12. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
1. he is drunk;
2. he is insane;
3. he is American;
4. he is all of the above.

13. You stay home on Saturday night to watch Bingolotto.

14. Silence is fun.

15. It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 23 or 25.

16. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
1. duty free vodka
2. duty free beer
3. to party

17. The only reason for getting of the boat in Helsinki is to eat pizza.

18. It no longer seems excessive to spend € 130 on alcohol in a single night.

19. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.

20. You care who wins 'Expedition: Robinson'.

21. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

22. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."

23. You are no longer scared of Volvos and Volvo drivers.

24. You have your own innebandy club.

25. You enjoy the taste of Surströmming (sour Baltic herring).

26. You use mmmm as a conversation filler.

27. An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild.

28. When someone asks for "three cheers", you say "hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah".

29. You wear sandals with socks.

30. You eat jam with savoury dishes.

31. You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.

32. You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.

33. When you start to differentiate between types of snow!!

34. When you manage to convince yourself that you really enjoy eating potatoes, tuna, pasta and sausages and it's not just because that's all you can afford to eat here.

35. When you accept you must walk 2 kilometers to collect your book/tape from the post-office because they don't deliver small packages (or large ones...)

36. When you no longer try to just present your VISA card on its own but in tandem with your obligatory ID card.

37. When your shed becomes the first stage in the recycling process and you can't get in it for bags of paper/cardboard/bottles: refundable glass/plastic, recyclable glass/plastic/recyclable plastic containers/etc., etc.,

38. When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage.

39. You take every opportunity to raise an enormous flag in your garden.

40. You can't contemplate actually doing anything until you've first had a ‘fika’ (with coffee AND cake).

41. You think it entirely reasonable to pay 10 pounds for a five minute chat with the doctor.

42. You use the alcohol-percentage-per-kronor standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine.

43. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.

44. You think smoking is criminal and started to use Snus instead.

50. You stop explaining to people what Christmas Crackers are and accept that they aren't - at least in Sweden.

54. You have an uncontrollable erge to mail this website and point out the numbering is incorrect!

55. You think it's normal to park your car only on the right hand side of the street and are quite happy to move it elsewhere on Thursday evening because the street is been cleaned !...

... and i actually have a couple more to add:

56. Your wardrobe makes others think you stole the costumes used in 'fame'.

57. You wear your trousers tucked inside your boots.

58. Your mp3 collection could be easily recorded into a cd called 'the best of the 80s'.

59. You don't feel any possible harm in leaving your bags, purse or any personal belongings around the university premises, because they will still be there when you come back.

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